#36

Dear-,

I don't want you to be attached to me. Not like this. I don't want you to cling onto false hope. On to the very hope that you've created for yourself.

I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to put you through what you've dragged me through.

That pain itself is too much for anyone to bear... even for a masochist like me.

But... I can't just let you go because I don't want to watch  you suffer like this. I wish I could help you. I wish I knew how to help you.

I wish I knew what you were thinking. Not because I want to know where I stand with you, but more or less because I want to know how I can help you.

I won't abandon you. I know the feeling and I don't ever want anyone in my life to have to go through that shit. It's too much.

So, please please please tell me what's wrong so I can help you. You've done your best to help me. You've done a lot for me. So now it's my turn to help you out.

Let me be your weapon in your battle against this bullshit. I may not be able to help you win, but I'll make sure you come out of this alive.

-ht