All this pent up stress has finally caught up to me. I can't keep shit in for long periods of time... damnit. I just end up exploding and turning into this bloody mess. It's come to the point of where I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. Fuck... all this anger is merely directed toward myself, though.
I guess that's the root of everything. Myself. I have expectations for myself and it seems as if I've failed to reach any of them.
I need to break away from myself. I'm, in a sense, killing myself, slowly. Destroying myself.
I fucking hate it. I hate it when I'm like this. And I hate admitting it.
I need to escape this mentality, because at this moment, everything I do is pissing me off because it feels as if I'm fucking up everything.
I've become my worst enemy.
I guess I just need a way to unwind and destress. Figure out a way to let go of past shit that keeps coming back to me. I need to stop brushing things off and actually confront the problem as well as my emotions.
The more sadness and anxiety I keep in, the quicker it turns to anger. Anger that I can't even understand.
I've been taking life too seriously, lately. All I've been doing is work, sleep, clean, and eat (if I have time). Even on my days off, I'm still stressing about shit that I don't need to stress over. I need to chill and figure out how to break this cycle.
I haven't focused on myself in a long while. All my money goes to bills and food. I haven't even shopped for clothes in half a year. HALF A YEAR. Holy shit. I have no right to call myself a girl. I need to indulge myself in a while. I need to show myself some love and spoil me with shit. (In moderation)
-____- A little r&r goes a long way... as well as a bit of fun. I miss having an excuse to wear make up and dress to impress. Fuck the red and khaki.
I guess that's the root of everything. Myself. I have expectations for myself and it seems as if I've failed to reach any of them.
I need to break away from myself. I'm, in a sense, killing myself, slowly. Destroying myself.
I fucking hate it. I hate it when I'm like this. And I hate admitting it.
I need to escape this mentality, because at this moment, everything I do is pissing me off because it feels as if I'm fucking up everything.
I've become my worst enemy.
I guess I just need a way to unwind and destress. Figure out a way to let go of past shit that keeps coming back to me. I need to stop brushing things off and actually confront the problem as well as my emotions.
The more sadness and anxiety I keep in, the quicker it turns to anger. Anger that I can't even understand.
I've been taking life too seriously, lately. All I've been doing is work, sleep, clean, and eat (if I have time). Even on my days off, I'm still stressing about shit that I don't need to stress over. I need to chill and figure out how to break this cycle.
I haven't focused on myself in a long while. All my money goes to bills and food. I haven't even shopped for clothes in half a year. HALF A YEAR. Holy shit. I have no right to call myself a girl. I need to indulge myself in a while. I need to show myself some love and spoil me with shit. (In moderation)
-____- A little r&r goes a long way... as well as a bit of fun. I miss having an excuse to wear make up and dress to impress. Fuck the red and khaki.
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