operating operatives.

It's me against the world.

Always has been, always will be.

I wonder why that is though. Why do you continue to incessantly torture me so? Is it because of my refusal to fight back? Because I will... this time. I'll take matters into my own hands. I shan't let you destroy me. Not again. I'm sick and tired of wallowing in this pain that you're shoving down my throat. I'll fight back and take my rightful share of joy. I won't shy away. I'm sick and tired of this same circle of battles, always ending with you as the victor. I'll destroy the shadow that lurks over me, killing me not slowly but rapidly. I may be dead on the inside. But so long as this heart is beating and this mind capable of sound thoughts, I will keep fighting. I'll march through all the shit that gets in my way. I'll wait until I can see into the essence of life itself before I take my shot.

My anger will never be sated until I get my answer. I'm so tired of playing this game... it's just too damn frustrating. This tug and pull of emotions... but I'll fight until the very end. I won't be the victim anymore. I'll take you down with me to Hell if I must.

All I ever wanted was a straight-forward answer. That's all. I don't give a damn whether it's something I want to hear or not. I just want to know. I want to know what's going on, so I may act accordingly. Those half-assed answers mean nothing to me. You say one thing and then the next... completely undoes whatever was said in the former. Just give me a goddamned answer. I'm sick of guessing and mulling of stupid hypothetical schematics of idiocy. I won't hide behind a veil of drunkness... too lost in that pain. I'll remove my mask and bare my everything to receive this answer.

Grant me strength. Grant me a calm mind to act. Grant me stoicism.

I need to detach myself from myself to win this battle... or to even take my first step.

Give me strength... because I don't know if I'll come out of this alive. But.. so long as I've an answer. I shall die with no regrets.

I don't spite you. I don't love you. I don't fear you. I don't loathe you. I don't like you.

I can't remove a (k)not without your answer. It's tied too tightly. Only what you say shall grant me a strategy to unravel what is eating me on the inside, feeding upon the pure essence of my soul- the bane of my existence.

And so I beseech thee once more, grant me strength to ask you this...

What am I to you? Truly.

I wish to know where I stand. I'm falling and still ever am... until I can untie this rope to grant me salvation.

I shan't wince at a painful reply... pain is what I've been brought up on. I am numb to it... or so my soul is.

But the heart isn't. It knows nothing... untainted by the horrors of life. I've managed to protect it well from everything and anything. Perhaps that was my error. I shouldn't have. I should've opened it up to experience the world. So that it may understand and gain knowledge to handle this... rather than having my mind fight its battles as it is now.

But what's done is done. I've a battle to start and finish. Hopefully I can end it before the sun wakes once more... if not then by tomorrow night.

My soul can only bear so much... in its current state.

But.. you can't really break me. What's already broken... cannot be broken once more.

Though in ruins I lie, I shall use it to my advantage. The shards shall serve as caltrops to halt your steps. To corner you so that you shan't escape from my question.

A rather simple question with a complex answer that's the power to create life and to destroy one. To mend a heart or crush it. To join a soul or shatter it into a million pieces.

So I lie in wait... for you. A careful sniper without her scout. But this will do.

This will do.

Lord help me now. I can't say that I'm not afraid... apprehension is what courses through my veins. The adrenaline... alone... sustains me.

Hear my silent battle cry: The beating of my heart, reverberating through my core.

Heaven help me.