Dear-,
Well, this isn't the first time you've pulled out of my life and came back.
This is the root of your misery. You keep coming back to those who are causing you pain.
The most ironic thing about this is that you pretty much pulled the same shit during the same time, same month last year. I'm sure you've forgotten, but I haven't.
Remember? On the week that I decided that enough was enough, that it was time to move on... the week that I showed you this blog and closed all communications with you. It was then that you decided to leave me that fucking voicemail that fucked things up. The one where you apologized and cried, asking for another chance. The one where you asked me the very thing I've spent that damned year and half I've been waiting to hear. I was bitter, but I took the chance. And, yet.. the very moment I agreed and we made plans for a date of fucking Valentine's day. You decide to disappear for a week... then you canceled on me... then you took back everything you said to me.
I haven't forgotten. I'm sure you have.
I can forgive people for a lot of shit, but fucking with my heart isn't one of them. I can forget, but I will never forgive. My heart is what keeps me ALIVE. You fuck with it, I'll fuck you up tenfold. I will make you regret the very day you chose to do what you did. I don't want it to go through anymore pain. I don't want those nights of binge drinking and fucking around with anything that moves to come back. I don't want to lock myself in the bathroom to cry and cut anymore. I don't want to whore myself out until I feel loved and wanted. I don't want to go running to my bestie's house to drink and cry anymore. I am so tired.
At this point, I know damn well you're reading this. So get out. Get out of my life. You're neither an ex or friend... so I have no reason to associate with you. I appreciate all that you've done for me. I appreciate you teaching me what assholes men are and how quick they are to change their goddamn minds and how meaningless love is to you guys. In the end, all you want is to get into their pants. You were never the gentleman you claimed to be... There goes a saying, it takes a damn boy to fuck every girl, but a gentleman to love one.
You live an ironic life, Brian.
Adios, motherfucker.
I was your cure and you were my disease. I was saving you, but you were killing me.
-ht
Well, this isn't the first time you've pulled out of my life and came back.
This is the root of your misery. You keep coming back to those who are causing you pain.
The most ironic thing about this is that you pretty much pulled the same shit during the same time, same month last year. I'm sure you've forgotten, but I haven't.
Remember? On the week that I decided that enough was enough, that it was time to move on... the week that I showed you this blog and closed all communications with you. It was then that you decided to leave me that fucking voicemail that fucked things up. The one where you apologized and cried, asking for another chance. The one where you asked me the very thing I've spent that damned year and half I've been waiting to hear. I was bitter, but I took the chance. And, yet.. the very moment I agreed and we made plans for a date of fucking Valentine's day. You decide to disappear for a week... then you canceled on me... then you took back everything you said to me.
I haven't forgotten. I'm sure you have.
I can forgive people for a lot of shit, but fucking with my heart isn't one of them. I can forget, but I will never forgive. My heart is what keeps me ALIVE. You fuck with it, I'll fuck you up tenfold. I will make you regret the very day you chose to do what you did. I don't want it to go through anymore pain. I don't want those nights of binge drinking and fucking around with anything that moves to come back. I don't want to lock myself in the bathroom to cry and cut anymore. I don't want to whore myself out until I feel loved and wanted. I don't want to go running to my bestie's house to drink and cry anymore. I am so tired.
At this point, I know damn well you're reading this. So get out. Get out of my life. You're neither an ex or friend... so I have no reason to associate with you. I appreciate all that you've done for me. I appreciate you teaching me what assholes men are and how quick they are to change their goddamn minds and how meaningless love is to you guys. In the end, all you want is to get into their pants. You were never the gentleman you claimed to be... There goes a saying, it takes a damn boy to fuck every girl, but a gentleman to love one.
You live an ironic life, Brian.
Adios, motherfucker.
I was your cure and you were my disease. I was saving you, but you were killing me.
-ht
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