I'm so fucking tired.

I'm so tired of holding these tears in. I'm dying to just break down and fall into pieces.

This stress is eating me up. It's killing me slowly and I can't do anything to stop it. I really can't.

I already have a plateful of shit to deal with at work... and I've also my other work to worry about. I'm still waiting for that fucking call where they tell me that I can't quit and that I have to drop my current life to lead a fucked up one where they own me. I don't want to go back there. I don't want to go through basic again. I don't want to go through AIT either. Fuck this fuck my life.

I can't even sleep anymore. I've been getting nightmares and crying in my sleep more often than I've ever done. Even my beloved can't protect me from that. He can't protect me from myself.

I'm sick. I'm so tired. I've lost my appetite for everything... I'm losing interesting in everything.

I haven't felt this powerless in a while. I haven't felt this pathetic as well.

Give me a reason to keep fighting. Because I can't anymore.

I'm letting everything catch up to me. I'm letting everything destroy me.

I can't even ask for help because there's nothing to be helped.

No one can help me but myself... It's me against myself.

And I'm not strong enough to keep fighting this endless battle. I can't win against my demons...

End this pain. End me... I can't... I really fuck.... help me.

I'm not strong enough. I'm not brave enough. I'm falling apart...