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My insecurities fucks a lot of things up for me. It leads me to being jealous and having a hard time trusting people’s feelings toward me. I have this mindset of not being enough for anyone and it sucks because often times I end up hurting not only myself but other people too, being offered that much and not be able to take it, or trust it. Always thinking that someone better will always come along and take what I have from me. 

When someone suddenly or slowly stops talking to me I end up with this paranoia; negative thoughts pile up in my head. I always take the blame and gather up the things that could’ve been wrong with me and what they probably didn’t like about me. Questions like; maybe I wasn’t enough, maybe I was too much and this can go on.

I have this never ending self loathe and I have no idea how it started. I don’t know how to stop it. I hate being clingy and so demanding for attention but its the only temporary cure I can find for my insecurities. When someone gives me attention it makes me feel wanted, it makes me feel somewhat enough, worthy of something or someone’s presence. 
I hate it, it drives me crazy and it steals hours of sleep away from me.

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