I'm getting worse. This spout of depression is killing me...

How do I save myself? Without asking for help... without bothering anyone. Without weighing anyone down with my problems.

I want to cry so badly, but no tears fall.

I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep... and pray that I never have to wake up.

But I can't do that. There's work to be done.

I have to fight to keep this smile... so I can see you smile as well.

But at this point in my life, I'm not strong enough.

I have so many thing to worry about... so many things to take care of.

I am so lost.

I honestly don't want to fight anymore...

All I want to do is give up and let things slip away from me.

I thought I was strong enough to fight off these thoughts... knowing that it's that time of the year when I'm left questioning everything and anything.

Breaking down.

Guh. I don't even know what's wrong with me.

I have so much to worry about.

Once more, it's one of those days where dying sounds like a wonderful option at the moment.

Fuck this shit. I hate myself... the fact that I can't handle all these curve balls... and the fact that I can't hold everything in and I accidentally show my annoyance and frustration at you when you don't deserve it.

I'm so damn sorry. It's all my fault...

I don't deserve you... I'm too imperfect.

If only you knew how horrible of a person I truly am. So many things that I've done that I regret.

If only. If only. If only.

I'm glad you're free.

Free of her. Free of me.

So go and live your life the way you want it to be.

fly.

I hate myself sometimes. Most of the time...

Some days I'd wish I could rip my flesh off... so I don't have to be me anymore.

Rip off everything that makes me who I am... because I don't want to be who I am. What I am...

I hate my scars. I hate my height. I hate my small eyes. I hate my hair.

I hate... me.

I wonder... I always do wonder how it feels to be one of those beautiful people that everyone seems to admire. I wonder...

All my life, I've been spited and ridiculed for being who I am. For the way I look. For the way I act.

I just wish I could cut away at everything that everyone hates... so they would accept me.

I know perfection is just another flaw... wholly in the eyes of the beholder.

But for once, I wish I could be perfect. Then perhaps I can walk with my head up instead of avoiding people's eyes because I'm such a wreck.

I don't know. It's just one of those days where I find everything about myself to be complete shit.

もう六ヶ月になちゃったなの？アタシと君。。。一緒。

色々な事あったんだけどう。。。君のことも大好きんだよ。

ね、知ってるの？　

時間が変われる。
季節も変われる。
人々。。。も変われる。

でも。。。ね。。。アタシは君の気持ちが変わらない。それ。。。本当だよ。信じてください。

だから、君のそばにずっとずっといさっせてくれて。君の全て守りたいんだ。