#24

Dear--,

Huuh... I won't deny it, but I've spent the latter of your absence trying to get over you and move on. I thought I had succeeded in closing my heart and severing all my attachments to you... for a while.

But... it just took one fucking

word..

to undo all my hard work.

I'm back to where I've started. Thanks. Really.

My masks... my walls are shattering with each second. I can feel the shards falling upon the ground, reverberating against the core of my existence.

I thought I'd fucking won. What the hell happened? Why is is to damn hard to get over you?

Tell me. Somebody... anybody. Tell me.

Why is it harder to let go than to hang on?

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

You do this to me. You know that?

Once again, I have to pretend... pretend that everything is alright.

I'm sick and fucking tired of being at your mercy.

Rip my heart out and destroy it, please.

If it must be done to end this pain... then let it be by your hands.

I've already tried and I can't seem to be able to destroy it.

Why... do I.. let you get to me so easily? Damnit. Damn this to hell.

You're just this amazing...

and I hate you for that.

I hate myself even more though...

I... don't know anymore. I just want to disappear and get you out of my damn mind.

Let this be over. Let me be over.

"So, I took all night to write a stupid love letter to you.

Yeah you! From me, to you!

And all the time that I wasted on this stupid love letter to you!

Fuck you!"




Regards,
ht