I really wish that someone would make an effort in my happiness... I do so much for everyone, making sure that they're provided for and yet everyone leaves me in the dust.

I was willing to set my life aside to protect everyone, at the sacrifice of my own identity as well as my own well-being and family. The only gratitude I've ever gotten for that choice for the loss of the people I've considered as my own family, my brothers in arms. I destroyed my ability to love and feel. I destroyed myself.

I don't know anymore. I don't know if I'm worth anything. I try so hard, but in the end it doesn't even matter.

I've done everything in my power to provide and care for you... but it feels like I'm living a thankless existence. I don't know...

I'm just thinking too much. Watching other people in my life work so hard to make their significant others happy and special... it sort of makes me jealous. It hurts when I help them pick out gifts or help them plan surprises and dates... It really does. But, it's not the materialistic aspect of it that gets to me, it's the fact that they put so much thought and effort into their relationship that makes it hurts so much. I hate having to feel this way. I hate feeling so insignificant when you're such a significant part of my life.

But at this moment, I'm just glad that you're still in my life because just your existence is enough for me.